Cheer Tryouts!

Kayla, Sara and Hannah
today is cheer tryouts. I remember this well from last year. it goes on until approx. 9pm. then they announce the new squads. so for the next 12 hours I will be under duress. there are no guarantees from one year to the next. new kids come into the school and have the right to tryout. the best kids make it. Hannah is so overtired and mentally wiped out right. she needs to make the team to keep her spirit (and desire for decent grades) up. love you Hannah! you CAN do this!

Saturday April 17th

I bet you thought i was never coming back. Admit it. Well, here I am. My last post was the night before Santa Fe and I was super excited/nervous. I was a fantastic trip. Great friends and food and findings (beads and such). I had a blast. Santa Fe is so beautiful and it snowed. Snow for a born and breed SoCal girl is a big deal. Of course I had no appropriate clothing but so what? I left on a Thursday and came home Sunday night. And that is when I fell off the face of the earth. I came home to awful, hideous and sickening news. Although I'm not ready to talk about it yet (possibly ever) it was life changing. And so I have been hiding and napping and crying. I cannot remember ever feeling this off kilter with exception to my mom falling and winding up in a Nursing Home. So, in the spirit of trying to re-enter the world here I am. But truthfully, I don't have much to say. Honestly I am just emotionally wiped out. So, instead of Santa Fe stories I will regale you with pictures. For now, anyway.

Santa Fe!

I am heading off on a new adventure tomorrow morning. Bead Fest Santa Fe. I have never been there so I'm totally excited and ever so slightly nervous. Traveling alone to the unknown is kinda nerve racking. Shuttles and such only add to my feelings of unease. BUT. I have so many friends arriving as we speak (or as I type!) that I know this trip is gonna rock! Because I must bribe the girl-child I am leaving the Mac at home. I will tell you all about it when I return!

explain, please.

why are relationships so difficult? I'm not just talking partners of the sexual nature. I'm talking all relationships. parent, siblings, off-spring, in-laws, out-laws, friends and yes, the other one too. I have to reasonably ask myself "if I'm having trouble with nearly everyone, could it possibly be my fault"? of course the answer is always, no! I am as pleasant and easy to get along with as they come. ok, maybe not. but still. I'm not horrible. and yet I seem to always be at odds with someone. if not everyone. it's very tiring. it makes me want to nap. doesn't everyone realize that I am queen here and they just need to do what I say, when I say it, exactly the way I say. then there will be peace in the kingdom.

toot toot

I seem to have had my happy train derailed. I keep trying to get back on, but it's like a conspiracy of hands pushing me down under the tracks. Things are strained in my home life and, it seems, all my relationships. I would have to be blind to not see that I must carry a lot of blame here. Friends seem to be dropping like flys (with a few of the usual suspects still holding on). I can't seem to figure out what has happened here. I am even considering canceling my beloved trip to Tucson. Tucson is usual a magic place for me. It is the place I feel content. Not that I'd want to live there with my hatred of hot weather. But the Tucson Gem Fair is a great big playground of some of my favorite people in the world and mountains of my favorite things in the world...beads! This trip I have planned is a little different than my usual trip to Tucson. I will be staying at a hotel instead of my wonderful friend Anne. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE staying in hotels alone. I don't mind traveling alone. But there is a special vibe to staying at Anne's. Because she actually lives in Tucson her home is kind of the hub of excitement. I know this year there were circumstances that prevented me from staying there. But, I have to admit that staying with Anne always made me feel special. Like part of the "in" crowd. On top of all that my ipod seems to be having an emotional break down. I can't help thinking that I cannot afford to take this trip AND buy a new ipod. And I cannot (will not) live without my pod. Well, i have to decide by Monday or I'll lose ALL the money for the hotel, car and flight. If I cancel before 3pm I only lose the flight. The clock is ticking.

it never seems to end

this is Hannah at Homecoming with her friend Justin

Hannah decided to ask her boyfriend, Bryson, to the Winter Formal. Strange that the Winter Formal is girl ask boy. At least I think so. She went out with him for about 2 weeks and then broke his heart by breaking up with him the last day of school before Xmas vaca. For some odd, teenage boy reason, he has returned for more punishment and asked her out again about 2 weeks ago. And oddly, she said yes. Then she announced she would not, under any circumstances take him to the dance. I think he wined. Maybe whimpered a little. So she asked him. Now the hell begins for me. Dress shopping. First of all, she is a size 0 which makes shopping a real pain. Also, she doesn't like a lot of things. She's "fussy" about what she wears. So I spend hours pouring over the internet looking at stupid dresses. And then she announces she has found THE dress. The ONLY dress that will work. Ok. Good. Right? No. This dress is $300. I didn't spend much more on my wedding dress. She cannot understand why this IS NOT going to happen. "Maybe, when your a senior going to prom", I tell her. All hell breaks loose. So today we shopped for 3+ hours. Came home with 2 dresses. I don't like either. I will not buy her a $300 dress. I won't. I swear!

haha very funny

my semi-new mac is giving me trouble. sometimes it just keeps loading.....and never gets anywhere. sometimes it just gets stuck. so I decide to bring it to the Drs. at the Apple Store. I call the local store to make an appointment at the genius bar. after listening to all the options I make my choice only to be told (electronically, of course) that you cannot make genius bar appointments by phone. they must be made online. online. online? I CAN'T FRIGGIN GET INTO THE SITE BECAUSE IT IS FOREVER LOADING! If I could, I wouldn't need the damn appointment.